View Full Version : Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

12-18-2006, 06:22 PM
Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

NY Times, December 17, 2006

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each otherís financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one anotherís ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each otherís spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each otherís friends?

11) Do we value and respect each otherís parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the otherís family, are we prepared to move?

15) Do each of us feel fully confident in the otherís commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

16) Is it understood that a substantial portion of the budget will be spent on Land Cruisers, parts, and tools? Does the sound of an air compressor at 2 a.m. keep your partner awake? Is the back yard a suitable place to store an old rusty FJ55 for a future project?

12-18-2006, 06:23 PM
This is actually a very good list. I added #16.

12-18-2006, 07:53 PM
so your getting a 55?

12-18-2006, 08:56 PM
Wow, I think Stacy and I have talked about each and every one of those things except #12...

And we each really love our families, and the others family as well.

I would add #17. Have you discussed that vaction time each year will be alotted to Cruise Moab?:hill:


12-18-2006, 09:23 PM
Good list and all but who do I ask again? :D

I need one of these in my signature:


12-19-2006, 12:36 PM
From my sister:
Good questions. They should add pets to that list. Without growing up with a pet, it took a lot for Jeff to get a dog, and I know a few other people that that happened to as well.

Root, you're still young. Make your first million and then find a wife.

12-19-2006, 12:55 PM
Ahhh! I have different advice don't make a million and then get married. You will never know for sure if it was you or the money she was after. If she loves you when you are dirt poor you probably have a keeper.

12-19-2006, 01:11 PM
I lived with my wife for seven years before getting married (last month!). I told her it was the "trial run". :)

During that time she was able to learn about all my issues including my cruiser addiction. She still married me! :D

12-19-2006, 03:27 PM
I don't believe we discussed any of those before marriage. Still not sure we've covered them all. Four years married, 2 kids. I know who wears the pants in my house.

12-19-2006, 04:14 PM
#15 is the only one that really matters.

Almost 33 years for us. :thumb: