Thread: Humor?
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:52 PM
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Weight Loss Program

I called a company and ordered their 5-day, 10-lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'

Without a second thought, I take off after her. A few blocks later huffing and puffing, I finally gave up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, I weigh myself and am delighted to find I have lost 10 lbs. as promised.

So I call the company and order their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I have ever seen in my life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me.'

Well, I'm out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and I do my best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with me gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weigh myself, I discover that I have lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

I decide to go for broke and call the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," I reply. "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door. When I open it, I finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'

I lost 63 pounds that week.
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