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  #591  
Old 01-20-2010, 12:28 PM
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Romer Romer is online now
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Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel

"Pickup your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the
promised land ".



Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on
your
asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land".


Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of
camels, and mortgaged the promised land.



I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the
economy, the wars, lost jobs, Savings, Social Security,
retirement
funds,
etc .. .. I called Lifeline.

Got a call center in Pakistan. I toldthem Iwas suicidal.


They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck........
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  #592  
Old 01-26-2010, 10:30 AM
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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then, I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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  #593  
Old 01-27-2010, 10:41 AM
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Ole's been tinken so, Ole asks Sven, "Vy do scuba divers alvays fall backverts off 'der boats?"

To which Sven replies,"Well, you know, if dey fell forverts dey'd still be
in 'der boat!"

Dere you have it.
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  #594  
Old 02-02-2010, 05:35 PM
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From: Holladay, Kerri-Ann (Calgary)
Sent: January 5, 2010 9:11 AM
To: CACALSocial
Subject: FW: 3 Questions for a Redneck Engineer




Kerri-Ann Holladay
Accounting Department
WorleyParsons Canada Ltd. - I & E Division

100, 4500 - 16 Avenue NW
Calgary, AB T3B 0M6

Tel: +1 403 247 0200 (Main)
Office: +1 403 247 5733 ext. 409

Cell: +1 403 991 2451
Fax: +1 403 247 4811
E-mail:
kerriann.holladay@worleyparsons.com
WorleyParsons | www.worleyparsons.com




From: Hudon, Deanna (Calgary)
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 9:05 AM
To: Acc Komex; Brake, Tammy (Calgary); Bykovskikh, Alexandr (Calgary); Cacanindin, Ryan (Calgary); Czajkowska, Maria (Calgary); Damtwe, Rahel (Calgary); Holladay, Kerri-Ann (Calgary); Hudon, Deanna (Calgary); Ibrahim, Faisa (Calgary); Lam-Quach, Samantha (Calgary); Law, Jill (Calgary); Musialkowska, Patrycja (Calgary); Nagai, Sharon (Calgary); Pop, Mihaela (Calgary)
Subject: FW: 3 Questions for a Redneck Engineer





Subject: Humor: 3 Questions for a Redneck Engineer


3 Questions for a Redneck Engineer

Question # 1:

How much does a house weigh?


Question # 2:
How much weight can a rural two-lane bridgeHold???











And
Question # 3

WOULD THIS BE COVERED BY
HOME INSURANCE,
CAR INSURANCE,
OR, DOES
IT COME UNDER ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE ???



Y' ALL HAVE A GREAT DAY NOW, YA' HEAR!!!!!


















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  #595  
Old 02-02-2010, 06:27 PM
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must be canadian humor...i don't get it
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  #596  
Old 02-03-2010, 08:13 AM
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Missin' da pitchers.

I imagine... a house on a trailer crossing a two lane bridge, that collapsed under the weight.
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Heb Dduw, heb ddim; Duw a digon
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I'm that gun-totin', farm-raised, evangelical, pro-environment, OHV ridin'/drivin', Southern civil rights pro-labor Liberal yo' momma told you couldn't possibly exist.
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  #597  
Old 02-03-2010, 11:29 AM
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During a recent password audit at a company, it was found that a blonde receptionist was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
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  #598  
Old 02-03-2010, 01:40 PM
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Question # 1:

How much does a house weigh?



Question # 2:

How much weight can a rural

two-lane bridge Hold???










and

Question # 3


WOULD THIS BE COVERED BY
HOME INSURANCE, CAR INSURANCE,



OR,



DOES IT COME UNDER ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE ???

Just when you thought you were the only one with problems ~!~
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  #599  
Old 02-03-2010, 01:41 PM
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reposted for the inter-webz challanged Canook!
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Baby Beast 2- 1999 4Runner SR5

Baby Beast -1987 4Runner SR5-Gone, but not forgotten

Generation Dead
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  #600  
Old 02-03-2010, 02:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AxleIke View Post
Question # 1:

How much does a house weigh?



Question # 2:

How much weight can a rural

two-lane bridge Hold???










and

Question # 3


WOULD THIS BE COVERED BY
HOME INSURANCE, CAR INSURANCE,



OR,



DOES IT COME UNDER ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE ???

Just when you thought you were the only one with problems ~!~
A little small remodeling and you have a lovely cross-creek home.
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"I remain just one thing, and one thing only- And that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician." Charlie Chaplin
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