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Old 09-22-2010, 10:44 AM
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subzali subzali is offline
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Default Need a Smart Car?

http://fresno.craigslist.org/cto/1908159845.html

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Originally Posted by craigslist ad
buy my brother's smartcar - $14650 (fresno)

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Date: 2010-08-19, 2:30PM PDT
Reply to: sale-dqsdb-1908159845@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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my brother is selling his smart car and you should buy it.

lets talk about it's blistering performance first. first the engine will get you from 0-60 sometime around 20-30 seconds so by the time you want to merge on the freeway from a tight onramp, you should only have to slow down traffic around 30-40 mph. next is the high performance, rapid shifting transmission--it shifts so slow and unsmooth that you'll be testing the firmness of your headrest while getting a full neck workout everytime you accelerate! this car only has 30xxx miles, but because of the engine's coarse nature (attributed to its 3 cylinder motor), it feels as if it may fall apart tomorrow.

next lets talk about this cars awesome fuel efficiency. not only does this car get 40+mpg, but it's extreme performance engine that accelerates the car to warp speed yet makes roughly the same power as a lawnmower requires 91 octane. enjoy the extra gas mileage, because you'll have to spend an extra $.20 a gallon at every fill up.

the chassis and suspension of this car are unparalleled--in no other modern car can you slam on the brakes hard enough to bottom out the front suspension. this gives the car superior feel and lack of control (especially while going over bumps), giving you that desirable white-knuckle nervous feeling while screaming to stop in life/death situations. the suspension also handles extra vehicle loads with gusto and awkwardness--we'll discuss this in a later section.

the superior aerodynamic design of the smart car contributes greatly to dramatically increased wind noise while in the cabin. also, the overall proportions and width to height ratio are such that when large vehicles, such as the honda civic or mini cooper, pass on freeways, the car feels as if it may topple over. semi-trucks and heavy crosswinds typically induce prayers or immense concentration on the drivers part in order to manage the erratic steering wheel as the car wanders across the road.

interior space is one of the fortes of the smart car. there is enough space in the passenger compartment for two massive people, and the engineers at smart paid special attention to the fact that the occupants of the car sometimes bring their possessions along with them from time to time. as a result, the smart car has a whopping backpack-sized trunk compartment that can stow all of your materials such as a tissue box or a binder. it is not recommended to pack cold lunches in this compartment as the motor is directly beneath and may heat up your contents (this may be a benefit to those who pack hot lunches).

smart engineers knocked out two birds with one stone when they decided that the smartcar should fit neatly into bike lanes. not only does the smartcar have the stability of a shopping cart, but the loss of normally desirable armrests and center consoles has caused a huge drop in sprung weight, reducing the smart's heft by 1 pound.

bringing us back to chassis and suspension dynamics, let it be noted that smart engineers also paid special attention to america's love of nascar while designing the smartcar. when the smartcar has only one occupant in the driver seat, the fine-tuned lack of stiffness in the suspension causes it to droop on the driver side of the car, further enhancing the cars ability to constantly turn left in circles for hours at a time.

the smartcar has the uncanny ability to fit in tight parking spaces (a huge problem in america, especially in costco parking lots). sticking with the small-sized theme, the smartcar's tiny tire diameter fits into potholes nicely and transmits all of the force through the overly-compressed suspension into the cabin and directly into the driver's seat while bouncing ridiculously out of the pothole--just as a shopping cart would if it hit a curb. every time you hit a pothole, the smartcar's advanced design won't forget to remind you.

just as you would dress up your cell phone or poodle, the smartcar's interchangeable plastic body panels allow you to mix and match to satisfy all of your rainbow driven desires.

this car will also come with a bike rack, which takes only an hour or so to mount to the car and prohibits access to the trunk. the bike rack also works well as a bumper extension, adding much needed material to the car in the case of a rear-ended collision.

the standard radio has been exchanged for an aftermarket touchscreen navigation unit and upgraded speakers that cost my brother probably a third the price of the car. it has bluetooth capabilities, which are VERY important for hands-free talking during insane steering instability from passing semi trucks or crosswinds.

price is $14650. definitely worth every penny. cheap commuter bike seen on the vehicle is NOT included.
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Old 09-22-2010, 10:59 AM
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Great stuff. Why would anyone buy this over a Honda Fit or Civic?
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Old 09-22-2010, 11:00 AM
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Replace 'Smartcar' with 'Hilux' and you got it about nailed. Except for the tiny parking footprint.
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Old 09-22-2010, 11:24 AM
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I love the upside down shot of the interior
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Old 09-22-2010, 11:43 AM
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The smart car was not designed for the American world of land yachts. Yea, you can fit 2 or 3 of them in a parking space at Costco but try to fit a Yukon in a parking space in Paris and you're likely to have a problem. Why is there such hate for something a little different? I could write a lengthy bash about how little cargo space there is on a motorcycle or how a Vespa can't accelerate with with a 350lb dude on it but so what? Or how about how easy it is to tip over a Samari or a Daihatsu? Or how about the abysmal gas mileage of a Land Cruiser?

There are so many things to hate.... Why not just relax a bit and enjoy the fact that there are many things to choose from out there. Some may suit your lifestyle, some may not. - And yes, I'd choose a Civic over a Smart anyday.
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Old 09-22-2010, 11:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 60wag View Post
how a Vespa can't accelerate with with a 350lb dude on it but so what?
Yeah.

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Old 09-22-2010, 12:50 PM
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Buy it and drop in a Hayabusa moter

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Old 09-22-2010, 12:54 PM
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Mike, that is AWESOME!
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Old 09-22-2010, 02:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 60wag View Post
The smart car was not designed for the American world of land yachts. Yea, you can fit 2 or 3 of them in a parking space at Costco but try to fit a Yukon in a parking space in Paris and you're likely to have a problem. Why is there such hate for something a little different? I could write a lengthy bash about how little cargo space there is on a motorcycle or how a Vespa can't accelerate with with a 350lb dude on it but so what? Or how about how easy it is to tip over a Samari or a Daihatsu? Or how about the abysmal gas mileage of a Land Cruiser?

There are so many things to hate.... Why not just relax a bit and enjoy the fact that there are many things to choose from out there. Some may suit your lifestyle, some may not. - And yes, I'd choose a Civic over a Smart anyday.
I just thought the ad was funny...
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Old 09-22-2010, 03:27 PM
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+1 If I lived in London, I sure wouldn't drive a Land Cruiser.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 60wag View Post
The smart car was not designed for the American world of land yachts. Yea, you can fit 2 or 3 of them in a parking space at Costco but try to fit a Yukon in a parking space in Paris and you're likely to have a problem. Why is there such hate for something a little different? I could write a lengthy bash about how little cargo space there is on a motorcycle or how a Vespa can't accelerate with with a 350lb dude on it but so what? Or how about how easy it is to tip over a Samari or a Daihatsu? Or how about the abysmal gas mileage of a Land Cruiser?

There are so many things to hate.... Why not just relax a bit and enjoy the fact that there are many things to choose from out there. Some may suit your lifestyle, some may not. - And yes, I'd choose a Civic over a Smart anyday.
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