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  #21  
Old 08-09-2006, 07:21 AM
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Red_Chili Red_Chili is offline
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The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of
a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the
United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) ..

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi,
West Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Texas boys
will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the
following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don 't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday .
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  #22  
Old 08-09-2006, 10:58 PM
11thcavdrt 11thcavdrt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crash
" Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately. Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals attacking humans in Florida.
Not me. I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win-win situation:


+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border

+ Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today? "
_______________________________________________________________


Crash:

you are the man, really great ideas,espically the gators in the moat,keep
up the good work dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

doug tebbe
96 tacoma
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  #23  
Old 08-24-2006, 08:28 PM
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Default Cute presidents and thier friends

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Kevin
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Northside!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AxleIke View Post
I need an FJ40....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red_Chili View Post
Cruisers are superior
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  #24  
Old 08-24-2006, 08:37 PM
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more....
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Kevin
TLCA #3007
Northside!

Colorado Trail Patrol
Stay on the Trail!
I'm the God-fearing, gun-toting, American flag-waving, conservative you were warned about!
Quote:
Originally Posted by AxleIke View Post
I need an FJ40....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red_Chili View Post
Cruisers are superior
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  #25  
Old 08-24-2006, 09:29 PM
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Eeeeeeeewwww.
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  #26  
Old 08-24-2006, 09:30 PM
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The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, Dumb Ass, get in."
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  #27  
Old 08-24-2006, 09:54 PM
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Default Marriage Seminar

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"
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  #28  
Old 08-29-2006, 08:38 PM
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A professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."
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  #29  
Old 09-12-2006, 03:56 PM
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Default Merits of a good education!

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Pike County, Kentucky. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.
Deputy says,"License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Deputy says, "sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
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Kevin
TLCA #3007
Northside!

Colorado Trail Patrol
Stay on the Trail!
I'm the God-fearing, gun-toting, American flag-waving, conservative you were warned about!
Quote:
Originally Posted by AxleIke View Post
I need an FJ40....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Red_Chili View Post
Cruisers are superior
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  #30  
Old 09-12-2006, 09:40 PM
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Ain't that that truth! I could just hear him STOP DAMNIT!!!
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