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  #581  
Old 12-08-2009, 02:35 PM
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Default Why male elk have long antlers...

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'It's a guy thing, regardless of Species.'
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  #582  
Old 12-17-2009, 10:40 AM
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"My sweet husband invited me to go hunting with him this year.
I Couldn't believe it...the first time ever!
I never thought he'd be willing to share his 'guy time' with me And being the thoughtful man that he is, he even gave me an opening day Present. He calls it 'The First Timers Lucky Hat'. I'm so fortunate to Be married to him. I have attached a picture of me in my lucky hat:
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  #583  
Old 12-19-2009, 12:31 AM
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Default Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa Claus

For the "24" fans

Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa Claus
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"...anything else i can do for you guys, how about i wash your car or mow your lawn while you figure out your firewall system? I am now boarderline insane/unibomber." Kipper

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  #584  
Old 12-22-2009, 06:29 PM
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Do You Hear What I Hear?
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'91 Pickup

"Why does the U.S. care which flag will be hoisted on a small piece of land thousands of miles away?" -- Ron Paul
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  #585  
Old 12-22-2009, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveInDenver View Post
my kind of xmas carol
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  #586  
Old 12-24-2009, 04:42 PM
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Default Merry Christmas

How The Fight Started.....

One year, Stan decided to buy his mother-in-law Glenda a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When Glenda asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started.

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Lil walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" Stan replied "Dust". And that's how the fight started.

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Lil is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to Stan, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment. 'Stan replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And that's how the fight started.

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Lil was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 5 seconds. Stan bought her a bathroom scale. And that's how the fight started.

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Stan asked Lil, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed his heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So Stan suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's how the fight started.

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Stan and Lil are watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire while they were in bed. Stan turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' Lil answered. Stan then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at him this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So Stan said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's how the fight started.

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Stan tried to talk Lil into buying a case of Coors on sale for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. Stan told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started.
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  #587  
Old 01-05-2010, 10:11 PM
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Default if vomit is funny...

Jalopnik
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  #588  
Old 01-14-2010, 10:29 AM
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Sorry if this is a report:

Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman.....

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
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  #589  
Old 01-14-2010, 05:13 PM
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10 and 9 shouldn't be there cause guys do that kind of stuff all the time..
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  #590  
Old 01-15-2010, 08:11 AM
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Careful with that scattergun, Annie Oakley!!
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